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DJ RedJeans's Blog
| The Darkness: Get Down With Your Inner Demon |
So I've been avoiding doing this review the way you would avoid the guy ringing the bell for salvation army or the annoying fund raising kids outside of Wal-Mart....oh don't gimme that look, you know you walk around them too. The reason for my procrastination is that I really didn't know where to start at ALL. But I guess I have to find a place so lets roll the dice and kick this bitch off like Dolemite does ho's after he's done with them.
The Darkness for 360 is an interesting first-person shooter with pieces of psychological horror thrown in here and there. The best way for me to equate it would be a big ass ice cream cone of FPS with the sprinkles of Horror and Movie-esque game play on top. It's brought to you by the kind people over at 2K Games, who brought to you gems like Bioshock as well as turds such as Family Guy the video game, and the awesome development team Starbreeze Studios. Now I know you're probably sitting there saying "Oh yeh...Starbreeze Studios...uhm...who the fuck is that?" so lemme bust some knowledge in your head like Psychonauts. Starbreeze Stuidos was the developer that brought you 2004's madly successful The Chronicles of Riddick: Escape from Butcher Bay which was amazing graphically and acclaimed for original game play and storyline.
Now that we're done with the introductions lemme attempt to tackle the storyline basis. You play through the game as a mob hit man Jackie Estacado who has been wronged by his "Uncle" Paulie. See as we all know through watching movies about the mob from the 80s to now is that someone always back stabs someone else and/or "sets them up the bomb". Well it seems that Jackie-boy missed getting some cash that a guy owed his Uncle. After trying to make the matter up to him by going on a secondary assignment Jackie finds that his Uncle Paulie had betrayed him. Barely surviving this betrayal Jackie is now on the run and he keeps hearing this omnificent voice trying to control his conscience. This voice eventually takes over Jackie and "helps him" out of a big run in with the mob. Fast forward a bit Jackie learns that the presence that has overcome him is called The Darkness and is an age old demon without a body that needs to possess someone in order to fulfill its dark desires of death and destruction. Jackie just happened to be the wrong guy in the right time. Through your escapades as Jackie you will work your way through finding more out about The Darkness (and no I don't me he's secretly CHARLAY MURPHAY!), see a new side of your loved ones, help out the city of New York, and attempt to seek vengeance against good old Uncle Paulie.
WHEW, now that the story synopsis is out of the way we can move on to the things that make this baby tick. But before we get into graphics and controls and all the crap you really wanna know about...I must say that every first person shooter for the 360 needs to take a little lesson from The Darkness on what it really did to make me feel like it was an experience. Achievements are the fucking BANE of my existence on the 360. I feel really good when I get a new one because its like I'm a little kid on Christmas getting a Nintendo 64. What I really like is when I play through an FPS it allows me to get achievements for the cool shit I get to do in the game. What I dislike is the fact that most FPS games are all about the multiplayer achievements. What if I didn't fucking buy this game to play online with? Or what if I suck ass at it? Or what if a goddamn nuclear holocaust hit the earth and I was left sitting here with no one else to play with. All I have is myself and this game tortured by the fact that I could never get all the achievements and my life would be completely unfulfilled all whilst screaming "WHEN LORD?? WHEN'S GON' BE MY TIME?".
This is where The Darkness swooped up and saved me like the drunken baby playing with a king cobra I was. There's an achievement for pretty much every awesome thing you accomplish in the game. Hell they even award you for the senseless act of EATING PEOPLE HEARTS. How fucking awesome is that? You don't get more hardcore than eating a human heart unless you can choke yourself to death. Before we move on to something else I would also add that there is even an achievement for enjoying the storyline. I don't want to spoil it for you but theres a scene where Jackie is at his new girlfriends place and it you have the option to sit on the couch with her. As you sit there things start warming up and eventually she falls asleep on your lap giving you the "Romantic" achievement stating that "Real guys stick around for their girl". How bout some of THEM APPLES HALO 3 MULTIPLAYER ACHIEVEMENTS? HUH? Yeh you heard me Bungie. Suck a dick.
Moving on to the game play aspects, the stuff you actually came here for, I must say that the controls WILL take a moment to get used to. Sure it's your general "jump, reload, shoot, aim" bullshit thats common from every FPS but the fact that the sight on the gun you have to aim with is about the size of a flea makes it a bit tricky to get used to. As much as I'm assuming that decision was all about making the game "feel real" I think that if I wanted to "feel real" while playing an FPS I would just go out and "shoot up a post office"
Disclaimer: I would never do something like that, definitely not because of video games, and I wouldnt suggest you go out and do it either. Don't give into the man, the hated, the penis -> Jack Thompson. Please also note that I am not condoning the action of killing either. Thank you.
Eventually you get to the fun, or seemingly fun, part of the game where you get some bad ass darkness powers such as a creeping dark. Now the creeping dark is an extension of you that can stealthily slither around to sneak kill your foes or go through vents to capture hidden gems of collectible stuff in the game. Sounds awesome right? Well...Kinda. The big problem with the creeping dark was the fact that it had issues detecting walls when you were trying to switch directions from say...the ground to climbing up a wall. The camera would get a bit wacky and distorted which might give you the distinct feeling of "I think I'm going to puke". If you can look past that, awesome power for killing foes from long distance.
Another one of the neat little abilities was the Demon Arm. "Holy shit dude! A demon arm! This MUST be the most powerful weapon in the game!" you shout to yourself after receiving it. Because clearly anything named "demon arm" must be the baddest as thing on the face of the earth. I only wish that were true. No matter how much you want to use this thing you will find yourself in utter disbelief at how useless it actually it. You will use it to move the occasional table or bookcase throughout the game. "But can't you impale your enemies with it?" but of course you can....as long as they are in an open field with nothing around them and you're all of 2 feet away from them. Otherwise you'll most likely end up auto-aiming for an inanimate object or an already dead enemy. Slightly annoying as far as I'm concerned.
Another slightly annoying thing about this game is the fact that save points are FAAAAAR away from each other. Sure you're nigh invincible but when I was playing the game I can't tell you how many times I almost threw my controller because I was right about to hit the next check point and some DICK jumps out of nowhere and caps my ass with a shotgun almost as to scream "GOTCHA BITCH" and teabag me like a bad game of Halo 3 online. Wow thats 2 Halo refs in one review. I might get sued by bungie for comedy infringement. HIIII-OH. Ahem sorry, moving on.
On the good side of this game the world is gloriously beautiful. I must tell you that the game has everything you would expect in the real world. Need directions for the place you need to go? Go to the subway direction depot. The side quests are also really nice and it gives you a feeling of who Jackie really is and gives you more of a liking to his character. Makes you really feel like you're him. One of the biggest things that stood out to me was that there were narrative sections instead of loading screens. The kind of narration, as you would see in a comic, where its the dialog with a nice yellow box giving you the back story, instead we have Jackie-boy giving the narration himself through these screens. Even when you go to a place where there is no narrative there are little animations for every loading screen. Its awesome....they don't really get that repetitive ...well...until you're about 3 hours from finishing the game and then you're just walking out of the room to get a beer or make a sammich while it gets to where you're going. On top of all this the art and graphics are definitely AWESOME. I was wondering the streets of the place shooting out lights and staring at graffiti and fake movie posters like I was at Epcot Center on acid.
All and all if you really wanna play a good FPS for the 360 that is by far next gen I would go out of my way to recommend this game to anyone. "Should I buy it Ash?" oh...uhm...I wouldn't go that far heh....But I would put it right up there with the top rentals that are worth the money. If you have about 24 hours and 10 bucks stop by Blockbuster to pick this up. You won't regret it at all.
But as we come to the conclusion, as we usually do, I must really say this game changed my opinion about FPS games and I will be expecting a bit more from now on. Now on to the score that you're all expecting. I grade The Darkness for 360 an 88% giving it a B+ which is not too shabby of a grade at all.
Anyways I'm off to get that fall XBL update. Coming up next will be John Woo's Stranglehold. Expect it bitches cuz I'm out. |
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Tuesday, 24 June - 15:49:22 |
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